i wish i could do something other than just laying on the floor and complaining that i dont do much of my life it feels like all my decisions were bad but, really, i just want to do nothing. at all. just.. feel the flow. or, as we can say, feel that what i do is somehow... important. well, if it isnt >really< important, like, some martin luther king and shit, well, i just stay here and create some beautiful word arrangemnt that makes me feel that it fucking is important. i got all my life on it. i've put so much effort, it cant just be... nothing. i must fight for it. i must learn from it.